Today is my due date. There is also no sign of me going into labor anytime soon. I've drank raspberry tea everyday for 2 months, I expressed (milked my boobs), I've eaten pineapple, I've had sex, spicy food is a daily thing with me, I've walked and I will puke if I ever SEE castor oil again. At this point I'm done trying. I've become a pregnant rebel without a cause. Drinking coffee and eating whatever I want. Such a badass I am.
I was hoping she came before the new year, because let's face it, I wanted that tax credit, but it doesn't look like it'll happen, and I'm fine with that too. My doctor won't induce me until 41 weeks, so at most have another week of not being able to put on my socks.
Pregnancy wasn't always bad. After I got over the ruptured cyst I had on my ovary, it went smooth for awhile. No morning sickness, I kept my weight down. My body kept the crazy down for awhile, but once that third trimester hit, everything went to hell. It was so bad, fiancé (oh, I don't know if I've ever written about my engagement. I'll do that soon) and I don't even want another kid. I think once we meet our little princess, it'll change our minds.
I do want to share with you the top 10 worst things about my pregnancy, so here we go!
1) Gaining 20 pounds in 2 weeks.
When I gained weight, I GAINED WEIGHT. It literally felt like it was over night. It was horrible!!!! I was so proud of keeping my weight down the first and second trimester, but that third, it was like a fat plague. At my first doctors appointment I was 117. I am now 165. The heaviest I have been in my whole life. I mentally wasn't ready to gain so much weight so quickly.
2) Dark skin.
This is just a problem for ethnic woman so you white chicks are lucky. It starts with the line going up your belly. The line is cute, but then, next thing you know, your boobs are black! Not exaggerating either. They become a completely different shade from the rest of your body. It's so unattractive! Apparently it goes back after you give birth, but lets face it, nothing is going to be exactly the same as it was before.
3) "Oh, my hips!"
This is a phrase I say way too often as a 24 year old woman. You would think I was 78. Between standing at work and only being able to sleep on my sides, the damn things are always sore. Not only can I only sleep on my sides, but I can only sleep on my sides accompanied by all that extra weight. So I'll lay on one side until it starts hurting, and then switch to the other. . . Which leads me to my next point.
4) Lack of Sleep
A good night's sleep is better than good sex, but during pregnancy both of those kind of stop. I wake up every night between 2:30 and 4 am and stay awake for about 3 hours. Every night without fail. When people tell me to "get as much sleep now because when the baby comes you won't get any" I want to punch them in the face. Trust me, if I could sleep, I would.
5) Not Being Able To See or Do Anything Below Your Belly
The hardest and first thing I noticed was the fact that I couldn't see my vagina. One day I just looked down and realized I couldn't see my lady bits over my round belly. You can try to shave down there without seeing it, and it can be done. It's just very difficult. You also can't see your feet. You probably won't want to seeing as they will be swollen and partnered up with their new pal, cankles, but your ability to put on socks, shoes and pants will become very limited. It's nice to have someone around who can help you out with that.
6) Sex
One of the most enjoyable things has now become the most awkward. It's fine until about 30 weeks, but the last end of your pregnancy, your body becomes so big, you don't feel sexy and basically every position is uncomfortable.
7) Pregnancy Brain
If you ask fiancé what's the worse thing about being pregnant, he'll for sure say pregnancy brain. I forget everything. If I don't write something down, I'll never remember it on my own. From paying bills to why I went to the store. I once forgot how old I was. I had to get a calculator to figure it out.
8) Braxton Fucking Hicks
That asshole, who every he is, and his fake contractions. Why does your body need fake contractions? And why do they hurt sooooooooo bad?
9) "Are you okay?"
If one more person asks me that I'm going to snap! This is really an end of pregnancy thing. Once you're close to your due date you can't even fart without someone thinking something is wrong with you. If I'm not okay, I'll let someone know.
10) Lack of a Social Life
Pre pregnancy I was a social butterfly. Although a lot of it was me going out drinking, I had a life. Since I became pregnant, I only talk to fiancé, family or other pregnant people. I barely talk to my friends. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen them all combined. I've come to the conclusion that I'm only fun when I can drink, which won't be much anymore with a baby, a fiancé and a full time job. I just miss being active. I guess my future consists of mom's groups and family time. . . I'm okay with that.
It's almost over, so it can't get much worse. Is all the heartache and pain worth it? Ask me after Zoe is born.
