Christmas Ale, Non Animated Movie, Kinky Sex Time: Sleep Training Your Baby

I love babies! A lot. I openly talk about doing another 9 months of damage to my body, mind and relationship all the time. A new baby isn't in the plan for me in the immediate future (an accident is out of my control though :D), but I know tons of people who are expecting, thinking about children or have newborns.

THE MOST IMPORTANT, SMARTEST, AND BEST DECISION YOU CAN MAKE AS A NEW PARENT!!! 

Yes, it's that important where it needs all caps. Getting your baby on a sleep schedule. As a new parent, you have to accept the fact that you're not going to be getting nearly as much sleep as you were use to pre pregnancy (I stopped sleeping at around 5 months), but if you want to have energy to do daily tasks, like showering and brushing your teeth and feeding yourself, try to do this as soon as possible.

1) Stock up on coffee, red bull, whatever you need, and force yourself to stay up so you can make sure you're little angel is not sleeping all day and partying all night. It's so easy to want to close you're eyes for "just a second", but don't! The payoff is worth staying awake for 48 hours straight (you'll get some sleep, don't worry).

2) Choose when naptime works best for you. Sweet Baby Zo Zo gets 2 naps a day. Once around 11am and 3. 11 is when I get my workout in and 3 is when I usually take a nap with her.

3) Wear her out when she's awake. Play hard, sleep harder. Dance, tickle, crawl, jump. Don't have your kid sit and watch Disney Junior all day. Movies and television don't burn hardly any energy.

4) Decide what time you would like your child to go to sleep. I'm always nervous with anything before 7:30pm. Fear of a well rested child waking up at 3am is my nightmare. Whether the baby is sleepy at that the time the first few nights isn't important. Set up a routine that the baby knows that after dinner, bath and story come bed. Sometimes Sweet Baby Zo Zo won't go down right away. I usually put a few toys in her crib and she plays until she falls asleep on her own.

5) Never let your baby oversleep. Or if you do, be sure to adjust. If she takes a long morning nap, she just gets one nap that day and will probably go to bed a little earlier. Or if the afternoon nap stretches a little late, I'm ready to have her up until 10. This goes for the morning as well. Pick the wake up time and make sure to stay close to that. Otherwise, your whole day will be pushed back.

6) Learn your baby's sleepy ques. Things they do to show they're tired. Sweet Baby Zo Zo will rub her eyes, get fussy for no other reason and want a big bottle right before bed.

Here's how a typical day goes for her:

8:00-9:30 Wake up

9:30 Breakfast

9:45-11 Playtime/Movie

11-1 Nap

1 Lunch

1:30 Story/Playtime

3-4 Nap

4-6:30 Family Time

6:30 Dinner

7-8:30 Bedtime

8:30-Until GROWN UP TIME

Don't follow our schedule hour for hour. This is more of a guideline. Life is always changing when you have a baby, so sticking to this on the daily basis is damn near impossible. Plus, figure out what works for your family. I promise though, if you follow these tips diligently for a week straight, your baby will go from a nocturnal demon spawn to the precious sleeping angel you prayed for.

The perks of having grown up time are endless. That is your pocket of time to feel as much like your old self as possible. For me, it's Christmas ale, non animated movie and kinky sex time. For you, you may read or knit or play sudoku. Your life has changed so much so quickly. Don't feel bad for missing you. Don't feel bad for longing for a drink or wanting to dress up in leather for your man or playing so much Grand Theft Auto V that you want to walk out your apartment and randomly start shooting people (don't)

Remember, parenting is as hard as you allow it to be. It's all about putting in the time and work.

5 Things Happening in Music this Week that Don't Involve Kanye West

Kanye "crazy pants" West has taken over the internet, and frankly, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong. I am a Kanye fan, or was. I haven't quite decided yet. He is obviously a really intelligent man, but SUCH AN ASSHOLE! To the point where I've kind of washed my hands of it. So if you're looking for a breath of fresh air in this Kanye cloud, here are 5 things happening in music this week not involving Kanye West.

1) The 20th anniversary of Doggy Style. The classic album that came out November 23, 1993 (feel old yet?), shaped the career of iconic rapper. I don't know if he's going by Snoop Dogg or Lion or Dragon or whatever now a days, he's an interview worth checking out. Snoop and my boo, Kendrick Lamar discussing the impact that the album has had on their lives. 

http://theboombox.com/snoop-dogg-kendrick-lamar-doggystyle-20th-anniversary/

2) Britney Spears has her new album, Britney Jean streaming for free on iTunes this week. Instead of releasing the album to greedily collect that thanksgiving weekend money, she's giving us the best gift of her awesome pop music all up in your ears. Don't forget to purchase it December 3rd!

http://tw.itunes.com/Jns

3) Where there is tragedy, there is a benefit album. Songs for the Philippines, now available to purchase and stream on iTunes with proceeds going to the Red Cross. 39 tracks of everyone you could imagine. The Beatles to Enimen to Lily Allen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Earth, Wind and Fire, just to name a few. This album truly has something on it for everyone.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/songs-for-the-philippines/id764022051

4) The UN names Macklemore an "Equality Campion". Now I'm not a big Macklemore fan. I have not listened to his album, but all his singles are so god awful to me I don't really have an interest in checking it out, but to be named anything by the UN is a big deal, and because it's such a good cause, it's definitely worth mentioning. So you go, Glen Coco! Kudos to you, Macklemore!

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2013/11/26/macklemore-ryan-lewis-named-united-nations-free-equal-campaign-equality-champions/3747713/

5) All things Dave Grohl! My dirty man crush is on top of the world this week. Presenting the best alternative rock artist award with Joan Jett at the AMA's, also an AMA performance with the Zac Brown Band as well as their collaborative release of the Grohl Session Vol 1 on iTunes December 10th. Even better, he announced the the Foo Fighters will be back in the studio before theyear's end. Pretty exciting!

http://m.rollingstone.com/music/news/zac-brown-band-and-dave-grohl-to-release-songs-in-december-20131126

And the music this week bonus? All the Christmas music flooding our airwaves! If you're in the Cleveland area, and are looking to get your holiday cheer on, the following stations will be playing Christmas music now until the 24th.

- 107.7

- Mix 94.1

- 102.1

- 95.5

- 105.7

And I promised I would shout out my fiance's favorite Holiday album. A Dipset X-Mas.

Chicken Biscuit Casserole

Happy Autumn! I know it's not technically  not until Sunday, but you sure could have fooled me with this horrible, cold weather we're having in northeast Ohio. 72 is actually not that bad, but the change in weather already has me with a cold. The fact that I'm working 3rd shift 3 days in a row isn't helping either. I'm all the way feeling like crap, but I've got a nice, warm, fall recipe to share.

I first made this a few weeks ago. Fiancé love it so much, he had me make it 2 days in a row. That's how you know a dish is a winner. The simplicity of it also gets a thumbs up. You just need a few ingredients.

1 boneless, skinless chicken breast cut into cubes

1 cup green beans

2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced

2 carrots, peeled and sliced

2 cups chicken broth

1/4 cup flour

1 tbsp minced garlic

Salt and pepper to taste

2 cans biscuit

Olive oil

Butter

1 cup cold water

In a skillet, sauté chicken in a drop of olive oil. Season with salt and pepper.

Add minced garlic to pan. Cook until garlic is golden brown.

Place chicken broth in pot on medium heat. Mix flour with a cup of cold water. Whisk with fork and add to broth. Season with salt and pepper. Simmer until thickened. Add chicken and garlic mix to sauce.

Place your carrots and potatoes in a pot of boiling water. Cook until tender. Steam green beans until tender. Drain all vegetables and add to sauce.

Pour chicken/vegetable mix in a glass baking dish. You want something about 2 inches deep. Top with biscuits and bake in oven according to biscuit directions (about 20 min).

Take stick of butter and rub the top of the biscuits. Bake another 5 min or until golden brown.

Scoop out on a plate and stuff your face with this delicious, fall, quick and easy comfort food dish. This is something that will warm your bones for sure.

Soul Mates

Last Labor Day, the love of my life made me the happiest woman in the world and asked for my hand in marriage. Oh, shit! The skinny, black guy with glow in the dark sneakers from my High School English class and I are going to get married!

I was engaged once before when I was 21. He was a nice enough fellow. I remember, after we got engaged, I asked my mother how you know someone is "the one". She told me that "you just know it" bullshit and I left it alone. The thought of soulmates was silly to me. That out of all the people on the planet, only one was "the one". I always that there are too many people in the world that I could contently spend the rest of my life with. My ex being one of them. That obviously didn't work out, though.

John and I had been friends since 2005. We always kind of had crushes on each other, but are timing was always off. What's the perfect guy if it's not the perfect time, right? We'll we finally got together and I felt that feeling. "The one".

Our relationship has been far from perfect. We went through an on again, off again phase. I'm pretty sure I tried to smash a glass over his head at one point (we joke about it now), but one day we just clicked. Like we were finally in sync. We realized that at the end of the day, we are creepily perfect for each other and immediately started looking at wedding rings.

Shortly after, I found out I was pregnant. We thought about having a shotgun wedding, but wanted our day to be about us, and not the fact that I was knocked up. Trashy.

We'll be getting married this upcoming June. We're eloping to the Netherlands and having a great, big, Tyler Perry style reception when we get home.

I can't wait to marry my anime loving, comic book geek, bucket hat wearing, dorky dance move having, skinny, chocolate drop best friend. September 3rd, 2012 was one of the happiest days of my life.

Pork Steaks

Since we moved, my family's been on a real farmer's market kick lately. We've been going at least twice a week picking up red and yellow watermelon, pork rinds (we're so coon. We can't help it), grapes, strawberries and fresh veggies to make Sweet Baby Zo Zo's baby food. We've been frequenting Farmer Jones Market mainly, but decided to try the Miles Farmer's Market (http://www.milesfarmersmarket.com) the other day. They happened to have pork steaks bogo so they definitely came home with us (I only buy meat on sale).

I've never had a pork steak. Not that I know of. I honestly am not sure exactly what a pork steak is, but boy was it yummy. I used a recipe I found on foodgawker as inspiration and made it my own. It was a fiancé approved meal and fairly simple so I decided to share it.

Pork Steak with Marinara and Peach Pecan Chutney

2 pounds of pork steaks

4 carrots peeled and cut into chunks

One small onion

4 potatoes

1/4 cup chicken broth

8 oz can of finely diced tomatoes

1 1/2 cups maple syrup

One jar of peach pecan chutney (or peach preserves)

One cup Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons garlic, divided

Salt and pepper to taste

First I mixed the Worcestershire, half the garlic, salt and pepper together in a bowl. I let the pork steaks marinate for 2 days (I was too busy and didn't get around to cooking them. You most certainly don't have to wait 2 days)

Slice up the onion and remaining garlic. Sautéed until carmalized. Remove from pan. Cook pork steaks in pan until about halfway done.

While steaks are cooking, add diced tomatoes, maple syrup, chicken broth, chutney, and garlic/onion mix to a pot. Stir and let simmer.

Cut up carrots and potatoes (I left the skin on my potatoes, but you can peel them). Add to boiling pot of water until tender. Drain and add to sauce. Add pork steaks to sauce and let simmer until pork is thoroughly cooked.

Yum! Yum! Yum! The chutney gave this dish a little kick, which I loved. And so did fiancé. And so did my dog who enjoyed our bones.

The Woes of Weening

I completely stopped breastfeeding about 2 weeks ago. I didn't want to. Sweet Baby Zo Zo just got so bad with her teeth. This is also coming from someone who had their nipples pierced. You don't know pain, until you experience a baby chopping down on your boobs. Ahhhhhh! I just grabbed my tit thinking about it. She thought it was funny too.

Breastfeeding is exhausting. It's so demanding. We never really gave her pacifiers, but who needs that when you have a boob? I was her pacifier and her bottle and her teething toy all in one. I was the only one who could really feed her at night. Yeah, we supplemented her since she was born, but if I was home, I fed her. Breast is best!

You could say I kind of disliked breastfeeding, but I miss it so much I want to cry. I have to fight back tears on the daily basis. As much as I loathed it, it was nice that she needed me. I miss her nuzzling her head in my chest. I miss her freaking out when she would see me without a shirt after a shower. I miss looking into those big, round eyes while I held her close. Breastfeeding is the most intimate thing a mother and child ever get to do. And now it's over.

My next child, I plan to do it longer. I want to be one of those weirdo people that breastfeed their 2 year old. It's honestly not that weird. Humans are the only species that takes another animals milk. And who decided cows milk was best? Our milk is nothing like cows. If anything, a goat is the closest to us. That's not really the point though.

I'm glad I was at least able to breastfeed her for the time I did. We struggled with it at first, but we got our shit together and had 7 wonderful months of mother/daughter bonding time.

P.S. I don't miss my boobs squirting milk during sex. The worst!

Cloth Diapering For Apartments

I always knew I would cloth diaper my child. The thought of diapers never breaking down freak me out. The average child goes through almost 4,000 diapers before being potty trained. That's horrifying! Especially at the number of people I know that have had children in 2013 alone. Fiancé and I took a great cloth diapering class at The Breastfeeding Center in Massilon. (They also have a great breastfeeding class and mom's groups www.thebreastfeedingcenter.com)

Now, I'm not going to lie, I can't say baby has never used disposable diapers. She did the first few weeks after she was born. I didn't want to use the cloth diapers while she was still passing meconium and we got a box of newborn diapers from fiance's grandfather. Also, after we moved. They were packed up and I had no clue where. Other than that, baby's got a carbon footprint as small as her own adorable little foot.

If you're not familiar with the process of washing cloth diapers, you do a cold wash, a hot wash, and then dry. You also have to be aware of the detergent you use on your diapers. Some detergents leave residue that causes leaking. Pinstripes and Polka Dots has a great chart with helping you choose a detergent (www.pinstripesandpolkadots.com/detergentchoices). We used Babyganics liquid detergent for the first few months. It worked great! We recently decided to switch to All free and Clear. It's nice because we can use it on the laundry for the whole house. It does a nice job, but once the bottle I have is all finished, I'm going to give Nellie's all natural laundry nuggets a try. We sell it at my job and I prefer to use the natural detergent anyhow. 

Cloth diapering in an apartment building is a little bit challaging, but doable. My building charges $1.75 per wash and $1.50 to dry. That's $5 to do one load of cloth diapers. It can add up. You have 3 options.

1) Hand wash the cold load in your tub. I did this the first few months while I was on maternity leave. It helped save us a little bit of money until I went back to work. Just scrub out the poop (it may sound gross, but if you have kids, you end up covered in poop and other gross things on the reg), pour the detergent in the tub and fill up. Use a plunger to help swish the diapers around. Let them sit about 45 minutes, then ring them out, take them down to your laundry room, run a hot wash and then dry. Of course you could do both hot and cold loads by hand, but its hard to wring out the diapers when they've been soaking in hot water. This option is best for younger, breastfed babies. The texture of the poop is a lot easier to clean up. I wouldn't really want to hand wash them now that she's taking formula 50% of the time and eating baby food. The poops are a bit more real now.

2) Your second option, is to just fork out that $5 a load. It's not that much, especially seeing as you don't have to spend money on diapers regularly. This is the method that will save you the most time, and as new parents, there's never enough time as it is.

3) The last, and most economical method of cloth diapering in an apartment would be to just do them at your parents house. I know it sounds so moochy, but if your child's grandparents are anything like ours, they want to see her every chance they get. So, you get grandparent time out of the way, you're washing for free, and you have some help with the baby so you can actually get things done. THREE birds, one stone.

You can also line dry the diapers if you have the outdoor space. Save more money, good for the environment and the sun helps remove stains.

Every few months you should also strip your diapers. This can be done by hand washing them with some dawn soap. It'll help remove buildup from your diapers.

Yes, cloth diapering is more work, but it's totally worth it. And children who are cloth diapered end up potty trained an average of 9 months earlier than children who use disposable diapers. It's because with the cloth diapers, you can feel the wetness.

I absolutely love cloth diapering my daughter. Once you figure out your laundring system, it's a breeze. Disposable diapers are honestly not more convenient. They don't leak less. Cloth diapers don't get that weird smell when they're full like disposables do. If you're the type of mom that likes to step outside of the box, give cloth diapering a shot. You'll be surprised at how much you love it.