Christmas Ale, Non Animated Movie, Kinky Sex Time: Sleep Training Your Baby

I love babies! A lot. I openly talk about doing another 9 months of damage to my body, mind and relationship all the time. A new baby isn't in the plan for me in the immediate future (an accident is out of my control though :D), but I know tons of people who are expecting, thinking about children or have newborns.

THE MOST IMPORTANT, SMARTEST, AND BEST DECISION YOU CAN MAKE AS A NEW PARENT!!! 

Yes, it's that important where it needs all caps. Getting your baby on a sleep schedule. As a new parent, you have to accept the fact that you're not going to be getting nearly as much sleep as you were use to pre pregnancy (I stopped sleeping at around 5 months), but if you want to have energy to do daily tasks, like showering and brushing your teeth and feeding yourself, try to do this as soon as possible.

1) Stock up on coffee, red bull, whatever you need, and force yourself to stay up so you can make sure you're little angel is not sleeping all day and partying all night. It's so easy to want to close you're eyes for "just a second", but don't! The payoff is worth staying awake for 48 hours straight (you'll get some sleep, don't worry).

2) Choose when naptime works best for you. Sweet Baby Zo Zo gets 2 naps a day. Once around 11am and 3. 11 is when I get my workout in and 3 is when I usually take a nap with her.

3) Wear her out when she's awake. Play hard, sleep harder. Dance, tickle, crawl, jump. Don't have your kid sit and watch Disney Junior all day. Movies and television don't burn hardly any energy.

4) Decide what time you would like your child to go to sleep. I'm always nervous with anything before 7:30pm. Fear of a well rested child waking up at 3am is my nightmare. Whether the baby is sleepy at that the time the first few nights isn't important. Set up a routine that the baby knows that after dinner, bath and story come bed. Sometimes Sweet Baby Zo Zo won't go down right away. I usually put a few toys in her crib and she plays until she falls asleep on her own.

5) Never let your baby oversleep. Or if you do, be sure to adjust. If she takes a long morning nap, she just gets one nap that day and will probably go to bed a little earlier. Or if the afternoon nap stretches a little late, I'm ready to have her up until 10. This goes for the morning as well. Pick the wake up time and make sure to stay close to that. Otherwise, your whole day will be pushed back.

6) Learn your baby's sleepy ques. Things they do to show they're tired. Sweet Baby Zo Zo will rub her eyes, get fussy for no other reason and want a big bottle right before bed.

Here's how a typical day goes for her:

8:00-9:30 Wake up

9:30 Breakfast

9:45-11 Playtime/Movie

11-1 Nap

1 Lunch

1:30 Story/Playtime

3-4 Nap

4-6:30 Family Time

6:30 Dinner

7-8:30 Bedtime

8:30-Until GROWN UP TIME

Don't follow our schedule hour for hour. This is more of a guideline. Life is always changing when you have a baby, so sticking to this on the daily basis is damn near impossible. Plus, figure out what works for your family. I promise though, if you follow these tips diligently for a week straight, your baby will go from a nocturnal demon spawn to the precious sleeping angel you prayed for.

The perks of having grown up time are endless. That is your pocket of time to feel as much like your old self as possible. For me, it's Christmas ale, non animated movie and kinky sex time. For you, you may read or knit or play sudoku. Your life has changed so much so quickly. Don't feel bad for missing you. Don't feel bad for longing for a drink or wanting to dress up in leather for your man or playing so much Grand Theft Auto V that you want to walk out your apartment and randomly start shooting people (don't)

Remember, parenting is as hard as you allow it to be. It's all about putting in the time and work.