Today is my due date. There is also no sign of me going into labor anytime soon. I've drank raspberry tea everyday for 2 months, I expressed (milked my boobs), I've eaten pineapple, I've had sex, spicy food is a daily thing with me, I've walked and I will puke if I ever SEE castor oil again. At this point I'm done trying. I've become a pregnant rebel without a cause. Drinking coffee and eating whatever I want. Such a badass I am.
I was hoping she came before the new year, because let's face it, I wanted that tax credit, but it doesn't look like it'll happen, and I'm fine with that too. My doctor won't induce me until 41 weeks, so at most have another week of not being able to put on my socks.
Pregnancy wasn't always bad. After I got over the ruptured cyst I had on my ovary, it went smooth for awhile. No morning sickness, I kept my weight down. My body kept the crazy down for awhile, but once that third trimester hit, everything went to hell. It was so bad, fiancé (oh, I don't know if I've ever written about my engagement. I'll do that soon) and I don't even want another kid. I think once we meet our little princess, it'll change our minds.
I do want to share with you the top 10 worst things about my pregnancy, so here we go!
1) Gaining 20 pounds in 2 weeks.
When I gained weight, I GAINED WEIGHT. It literally felt like it was over night. It was horrible!!!! I was so proud of keeping my weight down the first and second trimester, but that third, it was like a fat plague. At my first doctors appointment I was 117. I am now 165. The heaviest I have been in my whole life. I mentally wasn't ready to gain so much weight so quickly.
2) Dark skin.
This is just a problem for ethnic woman so you white chicks are lucky. It starts with the line going up your belly. The line is cute, but then, next thing you know, your boobs are black! Not exaggerating either. They become a completely different shade from the rest of your body. It's so unattractive! Apparently it goes back after you give birth, but lets face it, nothing is going to be exactly the same as it was before.
3) "Oh, my hips!"
This is a phrase I say way too often as a 24 year old woman. You would think I was 78. Between standing at work and only being able to sleep on my sides, the damn things are always sore. Not only can I only sleep on my sides, but I can only sleep on my sides accompanied by all that extra weight. So I'll lay on one side until it starts hurting, and then switch to the other. . . Which leads me to my next point.
4) Lack of Sleep
A good night's sleep is better than good sex, but during pregnancy both of those kind of stop. I wake up every night between 2:30 and 4 am and stay awake for about 3 hours. Every night without fail. When people tell me to "get as much sleep now because when the baby comes you won't get any" I want to punch them in the face. Trust me, if I could sleep, I would.
5) Not Being Able To See or Do Anything Below Your Belly
The hardest and first thing I noticed was the fact that I couldn't see my vagina. One day I just looked down and realized I couldn't see my lady bits over my round belly. You can try to shave down there without seeing it, and it can be done. It's just very difficult. You also can't see your feet. You probably won't want to seeing as they will be swollen and partnered up with their new pal, cankles, but your ability to put on socks, shoes and pants will become very limited. It's nice to have someone around who can help you out with that.
6) Sex
One of the most enjoyable things has now become the most awkward. It's fine until about 30 weeks, but the last end of your pregnancy, your body becomes so big, you don't feel sexy and basically every position is uncomfortable.
7) Pregnancy Brain
If you ask fiancé what's the worse thing about being pregnant, he'll for sure say pregnancy brain. I forget everything. If I don't write something down, I'll never remember it on my own. From paying bills to why I went to the store. I once forgot how old I was. I had to get a calculator to figure it out.
8) Braxton Fucking Hicks
That asshole, who every he is, and his fake contractions. Why does your body need fake contractions? And why do they hurt sooooooooo bad?
9) "Are you okay?"
If one more person asks me that I'm going to snap! This is really an end of pregnancy thing. Once you're close to your due date you can't even fart without someone thinking something is wrong with you. If I'm not okay, I'll let someone know.
10) Lack of a Social Life
Pre pregnancy I was a social butterfly. Although a lot of it was me going out drinking, I had a life. Since I became pregnant, I only talk to fiancé, family or other pregnant people. I barely talk to my friends. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen them all combined. I've come to the conclusion that I'm only fun when I can drink, which won't be much anymore with a baby, a fiancé and a full time job. I just miss being active. I guess my future consists of mom's groups and family time. . . I'm okay with that.
It's almost over, so it can't get much worse. Is all the heartache and pain worth it? Ask me after Zoe is born.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Apple BBQ Bacon Wrapped Chicken
Hello!!!! Hope everyone's been fantastic. Sorry my absence has been so long. 26 weeks of pregnancy plus a full time job really zap you of any extra energy you have, but I've been off the past 3 days and FIANCÉ (yes, I'm now pregnant and engaged) has been getting lots of good eats and I should at least share one with you guys.
This recipe is super easy and one any carnivore and/or fiancé and/or future baby daddy will love.
Things you'll need:
3 chicken breast
6 strips of bacon
3 apples (I did a combo of granny smith and red delicious. It really doesn't matter though)
BBQ sauce (We only use the Neely's BBQ sauce in our house, but again, it doesn't matter)
Salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste
5 ingredients! All fairly common and all things you probably have in your home. This recipe definitely wins points for convenience.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Once preheated, bake your bacon for 7 min. While that's cooking, season your chicken.
After the 7 min, let your bacon cool. At this time, you should start peeling and chopping your apples. You can use a food processor, grater or your own handy work with a knife to achieve the chopped apples. I used my blender to get the desired results.
Wrap the chicken breast in 2 strips of bacon. You can use more bacon if you like, because lets face it, you can never have too much bacon.
Top with the apples and pour on the BBQ sauce. I like my food saucy so I used about 1 1/2 cups.
Bake on 400 degrees for 30 min and BAM! That's it! I served it with mashed yams and green beans. It was delicious dinner and great breakfast for John when I slept in the next day.
A super easy recipe that will give you a foodgasm all over the place (messy!)
This recipe is super easy and one any carnivore and/or fiancé and/or future baby daddy will love.
Things you'll need:
3 chicken breast
6 strips of bacon
3 apples (I did a combo of granny smith and red delicious. It really doesn't matter though)
BBQ sauce (We only use the Neely's BBQ sauce in our house, but again, it doesn't matter)
Salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste
5 ingredients! All fairly common and all things you probably have in your home. This recipe definitely wins points for convenience.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Once preheated, bake your bacon for 7 min. While that's cooking, season your chicken.
After the 7 min, let your bacon cool. At this time, you should start peeling and chopping your apples. You can use a food processor, grater or your own handy work with a knife to achieve the chopped apples. I used my blender to get the desired results.
Wrap the chicken breast in 2 strips of bacon. You can use more bacon if you like, because lets face it, you can never have too much bacon.
Top with the apples and pour on the BBQ sauce. I like my food saucy so I used about 1 1/2 cups.
Bake on 400 degrees for 30 min and BAM! That's it! I served it with mashed yams and green beans. It was delicious dinner and great breakfast for John when I slept in the next day.
A super easy recipe that will give you a foodgasm all over the place (messy!)
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
22 and a Half Weeks
So I'm past the half way point of pregnancy and so excited to meet my baby girl, Zoe Mackenzie. Before, I just felt a little bloated, but now it's starting to feel real. I'm up to 136 pounds, my belly bump is in full effect. I even wear maternity pants! All that and she's pretty active in there. I can't wait for John to be able to feel her little kicks.
I'm going to be a mother. The thought is pretty scary, but I've never been more excited for anything in my entire life. My routine is even starting to get pretty "mom-ish". After working 40 hours a week and tending to the house, I'm ready for bed by 9. After she's here, I don't see myself having the energy to do anything besides cook, clean, work and spend time with my family.
I haven't gained too much weight, but I am starting to be concerned with this latest jump. 126 to 136 in 2 and a half weeks? Everyone says I'm overreacting, but I know it's due to the massive amount of Chick-fil-a and ramen I've been eating. I was hoping to stay under 140 the whole pregnancy, but I have to accept that that's no longer going to happen. Adding mile and a half power walls (can't jog anymore. Too much moving around), squats and planks along with cutting out fast food will hopefully help maintain the weight for the rest of my pregnancy. I'm not one that believes in using my baby as an excuse to eat whatever I want and become a fat ass. Not only is it not good for me or the baby, all that weight gain is not sexy and will make getting my 21 year old body back more difficult (I'm going for 21. I looked better then than I ever had)
The stress is starting to get to me also. There's so many things I have to get in order before she comes. Four months is plenty of time, but I'm still feeling so overwhelmed. There's just not enough time in my day for my to do list. It all may be my natural coping mechanism of freaking out at big life changes, but the important thing to remember this time is it's not about me, it's about Zoe and once she's here, It'll be worth all the stress in the world.
All and all, I can say pregnancy has been good to me. No morning sickness, I have an awesome new rack, not too much added weight and I've never felt so loved, blessed and happy in my whole life. December 29th can't come soon enough.
I'm going to be a mother. The thought is pretty scary, but I've never been more excited for anything in my entire life. My routine is even starting to get pretty "mom-ish". After working 40 hours a week and tending to the house, I'm ready for bed by 9. After she's here, I don't see myself having the energy to do anything besides cook, clean, work and spend time with my family.
I haven't gained too much weight, but I am starting to be concerned with this latest jump. 126 to 136 in 2 and a half weeks? Everyone says I'm overreacting, but I know it's due to the massive amount of Chick-fil-a and ramen I've been eating. I was hoping to stay under 140 the whole pregnancy, but I have to accept that that's no longer going to happen. Adding mile and a half power walls (can't jog anymore. Too much moving around), squats and planks along with cutting out fast food will hopefully help maintain the weight for the rest of my pregnancy. I'm not one that believes in using my baby as an excuse to eat whatever I want and become a fat ass. Not only is it not good for me or the baby, all that weight gain is not sexy and will make getting my 21 year old body back more difficult (I'm going for 21. I looked better then than I ever had)
The stress is starting to get to me also. There's so many things I have to get in order before she comes. Four months is plenty of time, but I'm still feeling so overwhelmed. There's just not enough time in my day for my to do list. It all may be my natural coping mechanism of freaking out at big life changes, but the important thing to remember this time is it's not about me, it's about Zoe and once she's here, It'll be worth all the stress in the world.
All and all, I can say pregnancy has been good to me. No morning sickness, I have an awesome new rack, not too much added weight and I've never felt so loved, blessed and happy in my whole life. December 29th can't come soon enough.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Let's Get Crafty: Repurposed Candles
Welcome! I actually have a tutorial today. Yay, me! Aren't you proud? Now I don't know about you, but I hate throwing candles away. Especially the good, $20 candles from Yankee Candle and such. Such a waste of so much left over wax. So I keep all of my candle stubs in hope to put them I use. Today, I actually did! I used old wax to make brand new candles. Here's how to do it.
What you'll need:
Old candles
Pot
Pyrex or can
Jar or paper form
Wick
Essential oil (optional)
1) Pick old candle scent combos that go well with each other. I went a vanilla, lemon and a tropical mango.
2) Pop out the old wick base. You may need a knife, ice pick or something similar. PLEASE DON'T STAB YOURSELF.
3) Bring a pot of water to a boil. You should probably use an old can, but I used a pyrex dish. You want something that can withstand heat.
4) Turn stove down to medium low. And place Pyrex or can in the pot of low boiling water. Break up one of the old candle and place in dish. I decide to add a little of lemon essential oil to the melted wax to refresh the scent.
5) Once candle is melted, pour in new candle form with wick sitting straight up. For the form, I actually got a jar and wick set on sale at Yankee Candle for $1.75.
6) Repeat 4 & 5 with the second and then third scent. Let each layer cool before pouring the next layer. You want to leave about half an inch of wax on top.
There ya go! Inexpensive candles of scents you already love!
What you'll need:
Old candles
Pot
Pyrex or can
Jar or paper form
Wick
Essential oil (optional)
1) Pick old candle scent combos that go well with each other. I went a vanilla, lemon and a tropical mango.
2) Pop out the old wick base. You may need a knife, ice pick or something similar. PLEASE DON'T STAB YOURSELF.
3) Bring a pot of water to a boil. You should probably use an old can, but I used a pyrex dish. You want something that can withstand heat.
4) Turn stove down to medium low. And place Pyrex or can in the pot of low boiling water. Break up one of the old candle and place in dish. I decide to add a little of lemon essential oil to the melted wax to refresh the scent.
5) Once candle is melted, pour in new candle form with wick sitting straight up. For the form, I actually got a jar and wick set on sale at Yankee Candle for $1.75.
6) Repeat 4 & 5 with the second and then third scent. Let each layer cool before pouring the next layer. You want to leave about half an inch of wax on top.
There ya go! Inexpensive candles of scents you already love!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
10 Day Cleaning Challage
During the two week span I was sick and on bed rest, I let the cleaning pile up to the point of complete ridiculousness. Every time I start to try to get some of the chores knocked out, I end up stopping because I get so overwhelmed. Then it just piles up again. I cannot take it!!! I have to get it knocked out. I have to reclaim my life from all this clutter.
I'm issuing a challenge for myself and you are all more than welcome to join in. I'm giving myself until July 31 to get all caught up on my household chores, and the month of August will be dedicated to organizing my life and home and getting on a scheduled daily routine. The goal is, by the time my roommate moves out at the end of August, to make my home a place that is stress free and prepare for the arrival of my child.
Day 1: Laundry
Day 2: More laundry
Day 3: More laundry (yes, it's that much) and the bedroom
Day 4: Full bath
Day 5: Kitchen
Day 6: Living room
Day 7: Front closet
Day 8: Dining room
Day 9: Patio and half bath
Day 10: Make weekly schedule to maintain all my hard work
After these 10 days, comes the organizing. Wish me luck!
I'm issuing a challenge for myself and you are all more than welcome to join in. I'm giving myself until July 31 to get all caught up on my household chores, and the month of August will be dedicated to organizing my life and home and getting on a scheduled daily routine. The goal is, by the time my roommate moves out at the end of August, to make my home a place that is stress free and prepare for the arrival of my child.
Day 1: Laundry
Day 2: More laundry
Day 3: More laundry (yes, it's that much) and the bedroom
Day 4: Full bath
Day 5: Kitchen
Day 6: Living room
Day 7: Front closet
Day 8: Dining room
Day 9: Patio and half bath
Day 10: Make weekly schedule to maintain all my hard work
After these 10 days, comes the organizing. Wish me luck!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Book Review - Hot Mom to be Handbook
Yay! Yay! Yay! Baby on the way. As most of you may have recently found out, I am expecting my first child and couldn't be happier (minus the nausea, not being able to get comfortable in bed at all and the extreme fatigue).
Just like everything else in my life, I do research on everything. I don't know how to be a mom. I don't even know how to be pregnant, so I hit the books. The first pregnancy book I picked up was The Hot Mom to be Handbook by Jessica Denay. It was the perfect first read I may add. This book doesn't give you the health class definition of what pregnancy and child birth are gonna be like, but outlines everything you'll need to prepare yourself, your partner and your home for the little one. It's a great resource for things you may need, things you think you need, but will never use and adjusting to your body's transition over the next few months. It was just the read I needed. It gave you tips on preparing your finances for your maternity leave (bills still need to get paid), informing your employer, and keeping your sex life spicy (after all, that is how I got here). It's also a great resource for green alternatives for the Eco friendly mama like myself. Also, you'd be amazed at how many things you're allowed to get away with now that you're pregnant!
This book was exactly what I needed to get in the mindset that I'm going to be a mother and it isn't that scary. My little blessing still has a long way to go before arriving, but now I feel a lot more prepared.
I would definitely recommend to any first time mother, or even am OG mama who wants a fresh pair of eyes for the next little nugget. Either way, it's a great guide to help you feel like your sexy, happy normal self, with a few extra pounds on you.
Just like everything else in my life, I do research on everything. I don't know how to be a mom. I don't even know how to be pregnant, so I hit the books. The first pregnancy book I picked up was The Hot Mom to be Handbook by Jessica Denay. It was the perfect first read I may add. This book doesn't give you the health class definition of what pregnancy and child birth are gonna be like, but outlines everything you'll need to prepare yourself, your partner and your home for the little one. It's a great resource for things you may need, things you think you need, but will never use and adjusting to your body's transition over the next few months. It was just the read I needed. It gave you tips on preparing your finances for your maternity leave (bills still need to get paid), informing your employer, and keeping your sex life spicy (after all, that is how I got here). It's also a great resource for green alternatives for the Eco friendly mama like myself. Also, you'd be amazed at how many things you're allowed to get away with now that you're pregnant!
This book was exactly what I needed to get in the mindset that I'm going to be a mother and it isn't that scary. My little blessing still has a long way to go before arriving, but now I feel a lot more prepared.
I would definitely recommend to any first time mother, or even am OG mama who wants a fresh pair of eyes for the next little nugget. Either way, it's a great guide to help you feel like your sexy, happy normal self, with a few extra pounds on you.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
The Depressing World of Adult Friendships
Hello, folks. Sorry I haven't been on here in awhile. With my great grandmother passing and every thing else going on in my life, I've definitely neglected my blog, and for that, I apologize.
I do want to take a few moments to speak about my Grandma Bay.
If I had to use one word to describe my grandmother, I would say vibrant. To the day she died, she was the most vibrant person everyday. She was always all the way turned up, but in a good way. It wasn't possible to be blue around her. She would say or do something crazy that would lighten up your soul. Her personality was infectious. She lived 100 beautiful, long years and I thank god for everyone of those days I got to share with her.
All these changes in my life have had me thinking a lot about the people I surround myself with. I try not to ever get mad about friendships growing apart. People change and sometimes the ones you surround yourself with have to change also. It's not a bad thing, it's called growing up.
I'm finding myself in a moment in life where I'm realizing I have no close friends. The people I thought were close have no clue what's going on in my life, nor do I think they really care. I know this may sound bad and I'm honestly not sure if I'm at fault or they are. I've always felt like since the breakup of me and my ex, none of my friends have wanted to have anything to do with me. I've felt like they thought less of me and the decisions I've made. I felt judged and like no one really took my side. Even hanging out with them since, I honestly felt uncomfortable around them. Like everyone is just whispering behind my back. It may be all in my head, or this may be how they honestly feel about me, but because I've had this feeling, I've just kept my distance. The thing that they don't understand is, I'm happy. I'm where I want to be. I could have spent the rest of my life miserable, pretending to be this Martha Stewart housewife, and developing a prescription pill and wine problem in my late 30s (that was where I saw my future). I may not have made my decision under the best circumstances, but it was my decision to make, and one I'm happy with.
If it was the other way around, I would never judge my friends. As long as they were still the same old person I've always loved, I wouldn't care how they got to their happy ending, as long as they got there.
Like I said, all this may be in my head, but nothing has ever made me think otherwise. The hard part is all the exciting things happening in my life the next few months, I do have any close friends to run and share it with. It's depressing. I use to feel like I was surrounded by so much love in my life, and now I'm facing the world alone.
I want to spend the next few months making myself a better person, which in turn I hope will make me a better friend. If its to old friends or new, it doesn't matter, I'm just ready to have that bond again.
I do want to take a few moments to speak about my Grandma Bay.
If I had to use one word to describe my grandmother, I would say vibrant. To the day she died, she was the most vibrant person everyday. She was always all the way turned up, but in a good way. It wasn't possible to be blue around her. She would say or do something crazy that would lighten up your soul. Her personality was infectious. She lived 100 beautiful, long years and I thank god for everyone of those days I got to share with her.
All these changes in my life have had me thinking a lot about the people I surround myself with. I try not to ever get mad about friendships growing apart. People change and sometimes the ones you surround yourself with have to change also. It's not a bad thing, it's called growing up.
I'm finding myself in a moment in life where I'm realizing I have no close friends. The people I thought were close have no clue what's going on in my life, nor do I think they really care. I know this may sound bad and I'm honestly not sure if I'm at fault or they are. I've always felt like since the breakup of me and my ex, none of my friends have wanted to have anything to do with me. I've felt like they thought less of me and the decisions I've made. I felt judged and like no one really took my side. Even hanging out with them since, I honestly felt uncomfortable around them. Like everyone is just whispering behind my back. It may be all in my head, or this may be how they honestly feel about me, but because I've had this feeling, I've just kept my distance. The thing that they don't understand is, I'm happy. I'm where I want to be. I could have spent the rest of my life miserable, pretending to be this Martha Stewart housewife, and developing a prescription pill and wine problem in my late 30s (that was where I saw my future). I may not have made my decision under the best circumstances, but it was my decision to make, and one I'm happy with.
If it was the other way around, I would never judge my friends. As long as they were still the same old person I've always loved, I wouldn't care how they got to their happy ending, as long as they got there.
Like I said, all this may be in my head, but nothing has ever made me think otherwise. The hard part is all the exciting things happening in my life the next few months, I do have any close friends to run and share it with. It's depressing. I use to feel like I was surrounded by so much love in my life, and now I'm facing the world alone.
I want to spend the next few months making myself a better person, which in turn I hope will make me a better friend. If its to old friends or new, it doesn't matter, I'm just ready to have that bond again.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Death.
I'm not afraid of death. At least my own I'm not. When you die, you don't have to deal with the heartache that comes with it. I'm selfish like that, but death of a loved one is a pain I wouldn't wish on my greatest enemy (actually I would. That's the inner bitch in me. I would at least sympathize with them. See? I'm not completely heartless!) Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things to have to deal with.
There have been 4 major deaths in my life. My grandfather, my 8th grade teacher, my cousin and my father. Each one does nothing but cause heart wrenching pain.
My grandfather died when I was six. It was Valentine's Day. School was done, mom was finished with work. It was about to be family time/trade all of our valentine's candy. The phone rang and my mom's face dropped. She came over to us and told us our grandfather had a heart attack and didn't make it. I don't remember too many other details being so young, but I do remember my mom blaming herself. She worked around the corner, and on most days she went to visit him on her lunch break. That day she didn't. Of course that's a silly thing to believe, but when you lose someone you love, you don't think straight.
Mrs. Butler was my 7th grade English teacher, 8th grade teacher, and the only black teacher in the school. This actually matter's because there were only 2 1/2 black kids in our grade, so she always took a special interest in us. Like a mother. She was that teacher that knew I was smarter than I let off. She knew my potential. She got sick half way through our school. She had cancer. They never told us, but we knew. A few months into our freshman year of high school she passed away. The saddest thing I've ever seen was her children crying. They were all around my age. I couldn't imagine losing my mother. I am not looking forward to the day I have to feel that pain.
I was 18 when my cousin Joi passed. She had cancer as well. Me, my sisters and my cousins were all really close growing up. My mom and my aunt kept getting pregnant at the same time so we all had an age counterpart. All girls. We use to have the best sleepovers at our grandparents house. Watching Ghost Dad, sneaking and ordering songs on The Box, drinking Vernors. It was the life!!!! But as we grew up, we grew apart. We had out own lives and own friends and we knew just because we didn't see each other as much, didn't mean we didn't love each other any less. When my cousin got sick I didn't take it seriously. She was gonna beat it. I knew it. And we'd all grow up and have kids around the same time just like our moms did. Then it got worse, and then they moved her to a hospice. That's when I knew. I had to know. I went to visit her there. It was the most horrible place. It was nice and cozy, but you still knew why you were there. There were children. Infants! The people who choose to work in a hospice are the strongest people in the world. Watching nothing but death but being chipper to the sad families. Omgee. In her room we were all watching the Ohio State v. Michigan. She ran track for Michigan and was a huge fan. They had a Michigan blanket on her. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She made shrieks of pain. They said the day before she was fine. We all left the room. Me and my uncle sat in front of a huge fish take. I was crying and he started to comfort me. He told me it would be okay. He told me that she was in pain and he didn't want to see her hurt anymore and that god was going to take her pain away. He said it was okay to be sad, but it was time for her home coming. He had accepted it. I hadn't. I wasn't ready to let go of the idea that it would always be all six of us. I left. Went over my boyfriends house. She died that night. I couldn't go back. I know my family doesn't understand that, but I wasn't ready to accept it yet. I wasn't ready. It didn't hit me until the funeral. It was the most massive funeral I've ever seen. The procession had Cedar Rd blocked for 30 minutes. She was so loved. I wasn't the only one that wasn't ready to accept it yet, but none of us had a choice.
The most recent death in my life was my father. Three years ago as of Sunday. April 15th, deathaversary. My father was never around when I was growing up. My parents separated when I was two, and he moved to Atlanta when I was four. From age four to 13, I had only seen my father once. Me and my sisters went to see him. I spent most of those years angry at him. He chose to leave us. He chose to not be in out lives. He moved back to Cleveland when I was 13. He mad an effort to be in our lives. He called all the time. Would come by and see us, but soon he started flaking out and we wouldn't talk to us for months. In 2007 he moved back to Atlanta, but this time he kept in touch. We talked all the time. I was finally starting to have a relationship with him. It was all I err wanted. Me and my boyfriend at the time went to go see him. He put us up in a hotel for 3 days. It was fantastic. I noticed he wasn't in the best health, and even called my mom and said I didn't think he had too much time left. I thought he had way longer than he actually did. He died a month later. Heart attack, just like my grandfather. I was devastated. I still am. I was just getting a relationship with the man and he ups and dies. It wasn't fair! It isn't fair! I had just got home from work. My boyfriend at the time told me my mom said to call her. It was weird because I didn't have a missed call from her. I called her back and she didn't answer, then she immediately called my boyfriend again. They talked for a moment and then he hung up. He told me to sit down. He told me my father had a heart attack. Okay. He told me he didn't make it. Not okay. From that moment on my life had changed. I'm angry. At him, at god, at whoever I can be angry at. I don't think illy of the dead, but I have not forgiven him for all those years he chose to miss out on. I have never cried as hard (and I'm a baby) as I did at the funeral. I wasn't expecting to, but all those people talking nothing but good things about a man I never knew.
Today, my 99 year old great grandmother. Had a stroke. She has dementia and most of the time when I go see her she either doesn't know who I am, or she rediscovers that my father is dead. Both a lot to handle so I stay away longer than I should. She'll be 100 next month. My mom says I need to go see her tomorrow. Please pray for my grandmother, pray for my family and pray for me.
There have been 4 major deaths in my life. My grandfather, my 8th grade teacher, my cousin and my father. Each one does nothing but cause heart wrenching pain.
My grandfather died when I was six. It was Valentine's Day. School was done, mom was finished with work. It was about to be family time/trade all of our valentine's candy. The phone rang and my mom's face dropped. She came over to us and told us our grandfather had a heart attack and didn't make it. I don't remember too many other details being so young, but I do remember my mom blaming herself. She worked around the corner, and on most days she went to visit him on her lunch break. That day she didn't. Of course that's a silly thing to believe, but when you lose someone you love, you don't think straight.
Mrs. Butler was my 7th grade English teacher, 8th grade teacher, and the only black teacher in the school. This actually matter's because there were only 2 1/2 black kids in our grade, so she always took a special interest in us. Like a mother. She was that teacher that knew I was smarter than I let off. She knew my potential. She got sick half way through our school. She had cancer. They never told us, but we knew. A few months into our freshman year of high school she passed away. The saddest thing I've ever seen was her children crying. They were all around my age. I couldn't imagine losing my mother. I am not looking forward to the day I have to feel that pain.
I was 18 when my cousin Joi passed. She had cancer as well. Me, my sisters and my cousins were all really close growing up. My mom and my aunt kept getting pregnant at the same time so we all had an age counterpart. All girls. We use to have the best sleepovers at our grandparents house. Watching Ghost Dad, sneaking and ordering songs on The Box, drinking Vernors. It was the life!!!! But as we grew up, we grew apart. We had out own lives and own friends and we knew just because we didn't see each other as much, didn't mean we didn't love each other any less. When my cousin got sick I didn't take it seriously. She was gonna beat it. I knew it. And we'd all grow up and have kids around the same time just like our moms did. Then it got worse, and then they moved her to a hospice. That's when I knew. I had to know. I went to visit her there. It was the most horrible place. It was nice and cozy, but you still knew why you were there. There were children. Infants! The people who choose to work in a hospice are the strongest people in the world. Watching nothing but death but being chipper to the sad families. Omgee. In her room we were all watching the Ohio State v. Michigan. She ran track for Michigan and was a huge fan. They had a Michigan blanket on her. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She made shrieks of pain. They said the day before she was fine. We all left the room. Me and my uncle sat in front of a huge fish take. I was crying and he started to comfort me. He told me it would be okay. He told me that she was in pain and he didn't want to see her hurt anymore and that god was going to take her pain away. He said it was okay to be sad, but it was time for her home coming. He had accepted it. I hadn't. I wasn't ready to let go of the idea that it would always be all six of us. I left. Went over my boyfriends house. She died that night. I couldn't go back. I know my family doesn't understand that, but I wasn't ready to accept it yet. I wasn't ready. It didn't hit me until the funeral. It was the most massive funeral I've ever seen. The procession had Cedar Rd blocked for 30 minutes. She was so loved. I wasn't the only one that wasn't ready to accept it yet, but none of us had a choice.
The most recent death in my life was my father. Three years ago as of Sunday. April 15th, deathaversary. My father was never around when I was growing up. My parents separated when I was two, and he moved to Atlanta when I was four. From age four to 13, I had only seen my father once. Me and my sisters went to see him. I spent most of those years angry at him. He chose to leave us. He chose to not be in out lives. He moved back to Cleveland when I was 13. He mad an effort to be in our lives. He called all the time. Would come by and see us, but soon he started flaking out and we wouldn't talk to us for months. In 2007 he moved back to Atlanta, but this time he kept in touch. We talked all the time. I was finally starting to have a relationship with him. It was all I err wanted. Me and my boyfriend at the time went to go see him. He put us up in a hotel for 3 days. It was fantastic. I noticed he wasn't in the best health, and even called my mom and said I didn't think he had too much time left. I thought he had way longer than he actually did. He died a month later. Heart attack, just like my grandfather. I was devastated. I still am. I was just getting a relationship with the man and he ups and dies. It wasn't fair! It isn't fair! I had just got home from work. My boyfriend at the time told me my mom said to call her. It was weird because I didn't have a missed call from her. I called her back and she didn't answer, then she immediately called my boyfriend again. They talked for a moment and then he hung up. He told me to sit down. He told me my father had a heart attack. Okay. He told me he didn't make it. Not okay. From that moment on my life had changed. I'm angry. At him, at god, at whoever I can be angry at. I don't think illy of the dead, but I have not forgiven him for all those years he chose to miss out on. I have never cried as hard (and I'm a baby) as I did at the funeral. I wasn't expecting to, but all those people talking nothing but good things about a man I never knew.
Today, my 99 year old great grandmother. Had a stroke. She has dementia and most of the time when I go see her she either doesn't know who I am, or she rediscovers that my father is dead. Both a lot to handle so I stay away longer than I should. She'll be 100 next month. My mom says I need to go see her tomorrow. Please pray for my grandmother, pray for my family and pray for me.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Happy Easter
Hellooooooo! How's everyone enjoying this lovely spring weather? Easter is this week. Lent almost over. 40 days of not microwaving food. It's a lot harder than you think. Any leftover, all have to be reheated by oven or stove. Soooo long, but I have to say my food taste better and I feel less nauseous after eating.
Anyway, to get the door all festive and ready, I made a colorful, Easter wreath. Lots of ribbon, felt and hot glue later, tada! Totally worth the finger burns. The price for being crafty.
Anyway, to get the door all festive and ready, I made a colorful, Easter wreath. Lots of ribbon, felt and hot glue later, tada! Totally worth the finger burns. The price for being crafty.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Happy belated St. Patrick's day everyone. I hope everyone did lots of Irish car bombs. St. Patrick's day is my second favorite day of the year, after my birthday. Growing up I went to catholic school so we never had school. It was always a big deal, getting all decked out in green, going downtown to see the parade, oh, and getting wasted. Sadly, I had to work this St. Patrick's day. The first time ever. I did get off in time to get drunk before midnight. I had to triple fist 2 Conway's Irish ales and I was given a strawberry daiquiri. It ended being a good night, until I hit the curb on the way home and got a flat, discovered at 2 in the morning that I am no longer on my mother's AAA, and made the decision to drive home on a completely flat tire. Story of my life. I'm having a very expensive Sunday afternoon.
I did manage to finally get my St. Patrick's day wreath finished and up, just in time for the holiday. So I want to share the final results with you guys.
All it took was a wreath made from branches, ribbon, a stencil and paint sample cards. Total cost: $10. Again, I have the prettiest door in the building.
I did manage to finally get my St. Patrick's day wreath finished and up, just in time for the holiday. So I want to share the final results with you guys.
All it took was a wreath made from branches, ribbon, a stencil and paint sample cards. Total cost: $10. Again, I have the prettiest door in the building.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Teenage Angst
As everyone may know, a few weeks ago there was a shooting at Chardon High School. School shootings are always devastating, no matter what city, but being so close to home has to make you feel some kind of way.
I remember where I was when I first found out. I was on my way to class. Listening to Rover's Morning Glory. It's the only talk radio I'm really into that early in the morning. As soon as I cut it on, they had already had someone on scene. I was confused as to what was actually going on right away, but once I understood. I was saddened. Chardon is nothing but 20 minutes or so away from me. That's close to home no matter how you see it. And what makes it even worse, is that it could have all been prevented.
I know how cruel children can be. And those cruel children grow up to be cruel adults. It doesn't change, the victim does. As you grow up, you learn to be stronger. To me, it all goes back to how you were raised. Don't get me wrong, I have been a bitch from time to time in my day, but majority of my life, I like to believe that I treat people how I would want to be treated. Even if I don't like someone, I still try to treat them with common respect. I don't have to be your friend to try and treat you like a human being.
High school is cruel, hard and unforgiving. On top of that, mentally, we aren't our true selves at that time in our lives. We're mirror images of what we deem as 'cool'. Whatever it is we're longing to be.
I wasn't bullied in high school. I was pretty, and smart, and a cheerleader, but I still always had issues being comfortable in my skin. I should be dead about 10 times over. All because I was so busy longing for acceptance from others, that I forgot to accept myself.
When I hear things about suicide and school shootings, I get it (I would have never shot up my school). I understand what it feels like to be that low. If you ever find yourself in that place, just know, it doesn't get better. Life is hard and the easiest thing you can do is accept that, but know, you'll adapt. You'll get stronger. You'll make it through. Today, 3 children are dead. 3 families have lost someone so special to them. All because some damaged soul, couldn't handle the 2 worst years of his life.
When you go out in the world today, watch your actions, listen to your words. It's easier to be nice than it is to be rude.
I remember where I was when I first found out. I was on my way to class. Listening to Rover's Morning Glory. It's the only talk radio I'm really into that early in the morning. As soon as I cut it on, they had already had someone on scene. I was confused as to what was actually going on right away, but once I understood. I was saddened. Chardon is nothing but 20 minutes or so away from me. That's close to home no matter how you see it. And what makes it even worse, is that it could have all been prevented.
I know how cruel children can be. And those cruel children grow up to be cruel adults. It doesn't change, the victim does. As you grow up, you learn to be stronger. To me, it all goes back to how you were raised. Don't get me wrong, I have been a bitch from time to time in my day, but majority of my life, I like to believe that I treat people how I would want to be treated. Even if I don't like someone, I still try to treat them with common respect. I don't have to be your friend to try and treat you like a human being.
High school is cruel, hard and unforgiving. On top of that, mentally, we aren't our true selves at that time in our lives. We're mirror images of what we deem as 'cool'. Whatever it is we're longing to be.
I wasn't bullied in high school. I was pretty, and smart, and a cheerleader, but I still always had issues being comfortable in my skin. I should be dead about 10 times over. All because I was so busy longing for acceptance from others, that I forgot to accept myself.
When I hear things about suicide and school shootings, I get it (I would have never shot up my school). I understand what it feels like to be that low. If you ever find yourself in that place, just know, it doesn't get better. Life is hard and the easiest thing you can do is accept that, but know, you'll adapt. You'll get stronger. You'll make it through. Today, 3 children are dead. 3 families have lost someone so special to them. All because some damaged soul, couldn't handle the 2 worst years of his life.
When you go out in the world today, watch your actions, listen to your words. It's easier to be nice than it is to be rude.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Loosing My Innocence at 23
I know I said my next blog post was going to be about Africa, but you also know I'm the queen of procrastinating when it comes to post that are important to me. I'm a perfectionist and if it's something that actually had a message, I need it to meet certain sexy little hippie standards. It is coming. Don't you worry.
Today on the other hand, I'm losing my goddamn mind. Every aspect of my life seems to be in shambles right now, but I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so no one worry, I am not suicidal. People go through tough periods to make them enjoy the good ones that follow afterwards. Look at all that optimism!!!
I may or may not be making the dumbest decision of my life, but I think I'm going to get a tattoo. Eventually a half sleeve. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it's huge to me. I'm so indecisive and a tattoo is so permanent. What if I hate it? What if it doesn't come out looking the way I want to? It took me 23 years to get the courage to even seriously consider doing this. This is a mega deal.
So I've sort of decided to go with a half sleeve. I don't want it on my foot or hip or lower back or legs. All those places seem slutty. I also want it to be in a location that can be covered up. Someday I will be the president of the PTA. And getting just one seems silly. It'll probably start off as a cap.
I pretty much have ideas of everything I want. I want a green bow. And on the outline I want it to have breaks with my nephews names, my father's and cousin's death-a-versary, the dates I was admitted into the hospital and maybe a short quote. Depends on the space. Next, I want a Luna P, an outline of a cupcake, a tree with the roots exposed, a cartoon beagle, and the big one will be the pink sugar stick doing pink sugar heart attack down the side of my back. No, that is nothing sexual, but if it was, it sounds like it would be hot. Pink sugar heart attack is a move performed my Sailor Mini Moon. Being an anime junkie was a big part of my life. It's my happy place. Here comes the kicker, to fill in the spaces between everything will be a, wait for it, . . . Zombie! Very lightly drawn where you can't see it unless you look. I'll probably throw some hearts and some more bows in there where I can, but doesn't it sound like THE coolest sleeve ever?! Even just writing about it got me all excited.
I'm concerned about some of the colors. Also that this is just a phase. Why wait until I'm 23 to mutilate my body? I've already been a rebellious teenager. Why now? My first love referred to me once as his delicate flower. I've actually been referred to as a delicate flower by several boyfriends, so that's the role I always let myself take. Wanting and longing to have this perfect, June Cleaver life. That isn't my life and it never will be. I'm just having a realization of this and thats what has brought up the thought of a tattoo.
I don't want to be a delicate flower anymore. That's how I let everyone break me so easily. In the past 2 years, I've realized that people always leave, they always disappoint and once they don't need you anymore, they completely stop caring. So I'm saying fuck 'um! Fuck everyone that has hurt me and made me shed a tear. I will be stronger.
I have to save my life. I'm falling in a direction I don't want to be and I have to pull myself out.
Today on the other hand, I'm losing my goddamn mind. Every aspect of my life seems to be in shambles right now, but I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so no one worry, I am not suicidal. People go through tough periods to make them enjoy the good ones that follow afterwards. Look at all that optimism!!!
I may or may not be making the dumbest decision of my life, but I think I'm going to get a tattoo. Eventually a half sleeve. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it's huge to me. I'm so indecisive and a tattoo is so permanent. What if I hate it? What if it doesn't come out looking the way I want to? It took me 23 years to get the courage to even seriously consider doing this. This is a mega deal.
So I've sort of decided to go with a half sleeve. I don't want it on my foot or hip or lower back or legs. All those places seem slutty. I also want it to be in a location that can be covered up. Someday I will be the president of the PTA. And getting just one seems silly. It'll probably start off as a cap.
I pretty much have ideas of everything I want. I want a green bow. And on the outline I want it to have breaks with my nephews names, my father's and cousin's death-a-versary, the dates I was admitted into the hospital and maybe a short quote. Depends on the space. Next, I want a Luna P, an outline of a cupcake, a tree with the roots exposed, a cartoon beagle, and the big one will be the pink sugar stick doing pink sugar heart attack down the side of my back. No, that is nothing sexual, but if it was, it sounds like it would be hot. Pink sugar heart attack is a move performed my Sailor Mini Moon. Being an anime junkie was a big part of my life. It's my happy place. Here comes the kicker, to fill in the spaces between everything will be a, wait for it, . . . Zombie! Very lightly drawn where you can't see it unless you look. I'll probably throw some hearts and some more bows in there where I can, but doesn't it sound like THE coolest sleeve ever?! Even just writing about it got me all excited.
I'm concerned about some of the colors. Also that this is just a phase. Why wait until I'm 23 to mutilate my body? I've already been a rebellious teenager. Why now? My first love referred to me once as his delicate flower. I've actually been referred to as a delicate flower by several boyfriends, so that's the role I always let myself take. Wanting and longing to have this perfect, June Cleaver life. That isn't my life and it never will be. I'm just having a realization of this and thats what has brought up the thought of a tattoo.
I don't want to be a delicate flower anymore. That's how I let everyone break me so easily. In the past 2 years, I've realized that people always leave, they always disappoint and once they don't need you anymore, they completely stop caring. So I'm saying fuck 'um! Fuck everyone that has hurt me and made me shed a tear. I will be stronger.
I have to save my life. I'm falling in a direction I don't want to be and I have to pull myself out.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Valentine's Day Wreath
It's not a scientific fact that I have the prettiest and sweetest door in the building. Made out of conversation hearts with a pretty red bow. I am willing to sell these, so if anyone wants one, just let me know. I can have it ready for you in 24 hours. The most delicious craft project ever!
Fictional Bucket List
1) Have a session with Miley Cyrus, Bob Marley, Sarah Silverman and my mom.
2) Set McNulty's on Coventry on fire..
3) Get Detective Stabler back on SVU.
4) My parents never divorcing.
5) Finally seeing the mother on How I Met Your Mother
6) Be a Victoria's Secret model.
7) Being the only black person on the OC.
8) Make out with myself.
9) Make out with myself while I watch (super hot).
10) Close down Walmart.
11) Have a secret life as a Sailor Scout.
12) Modernize Africa.
13) Been one of the first Starbucks employees and buying stock.
14) Murder two particular people and enjoy every second of it.
15) Get a lighter installed in my finger.
16) Have a three way with Bradley Cooper and Channing Tatum (all holes are available for these two. Mmmmm. . .)
17) Invent something sold on TV.
18) Be in a death match and win.
19) Have a drink with John Stamos.
20) Have a Lifetime original movie about my life.
21) Find out what happens Monday at school in The Breakfast Club.
22) Be Neil Patrick Harris' surrogate baby mama.
23) Marry my dog.
24) Cook with the Neely's.
25) Look like I'm 21 forever.
Hahaha. . . In a perfect world, right
2) Set McNulty's on Coventry on fire..
3) Get Detective Stabler back on SVU.
4) My parents never divorcing.
5) Finally seeing the mother on How I Met Your Mother
6) Be a Victoria's Secret model.
7) Being the only black person on the OC.
8) Make out with myself.
9) Make out with myself while I watch (super hot).
10) Close down Walmart.
11) Have a secret life as a Sailor Scout.
12) Modernize Africa.
13) Been one of the first Starbucks employees and buying stock.
14) Murder two particular people and enjoy every second of it.
15) Get a lighter installed in my finger.
16) Have a three way with Bradley Cooper and Channing Tatum (all holes are available for these two. Mmmmm. . .)
17) Invent something sold on TV.
18) Be in a death match and win.
19) Have a drink with John Stamos.
20) Have a Lifetime original movie about my life.
21) Find out what happens Monday at school in The Breakfast Club.
22) Be Neil Patrick Harris' surrogate baby mama.
23) Marry my dog.
24) Cook with the Neely's.
25) Look like I'm 21 forever.
Hahaha. . . In a perfect world, right
Friday, January 27, 2012
Money: The Key to Happiness and the Root of All Evil
I've been living in a dark cloud of anger lately. Bitchy, hating the world, the whole deal. I wanted to stop feeling like this, but first, I had to find out what was causing this.
Money has always been something I needed to get what I want, not something I needed to get what I need, but becoming a full functioning adult has been hard. I had always been accustomed to a certain life style. And let me back up and say I did not grow up some rich, spoiled brat. I grew up the very opposite. I grew up in a single parent household, mom sending us to private school, paying mortgage on our home, dealing with the crappy financial situation my father left us in, all on a daycare worker salary. Money was always tight. Not to mention my mother never got child support (she's pretty amazing). She taught me that money comes from hard work, so I always worked hard and that was how I was able to pay for all the nice things I have. I work hard therefor I deserve.
This philosophy doesn't work in real grown up world. In real grow up world, I have to work hard and it all goes to my car or rent or groceries. There's no money for me to play like I want. I still get to go out for drinks and buy myself some candles as a treat, but I miss the days where I could blow $150 in one night at the strip club or spend a shit ton on 5 pairs of panties and a hoodie from Victoria's Secret. Now I have to think in the way of, "oh, I made $150 tonight at work. Now I can get the rent paid early." When did my fun die?
I honestly don't mind not thinking that way, and am planning a big strip club outing as we speak, but then I started thinking that I hate that how much money I have control my mood. If I have a slow week, I get so depressed. I get stressed out over everything I have to pay for and how one slow week can put me back for a month, but if I have a little bit of cash in my pockets, I'm on cloud 9. Money is evil. It has more control over us than our first love in high school did (shout out to Steve. The love of my 15 year old life).
Then, John played Wal-Mart: The high Price of Low Cost, on netflix, and then my eyes were opened up to how evil money actually is. I've always hated Wal-Mart. Mainly because it's dirty and cluttered, but a big part was how they mistreat their employees and drive small businesses to close. Watching this movie just increased my hatred for them tenfold. Wal-Mart is second worse just after Hitler. They fuck people over with no remorse what-so-ever and trap cities into letting them root there. Not only that, but it's a company full of sexist, racist and classist assholes. Please check this movie out, and if you shop at Wal-Mart ever afterwards, you don't have a soul.
I'm not that person. I'm not the type of person who lets money and things control my happiness. Yes, buying stuff does make me happy, I'm a female, but how I live my life and my daily choices to do good should be enough.
So what if I have a lot. So what if I have a little. As long as I'm working hard and feeling rewarded and happy with my life, I should have nothing to complain about. It could be worse. I could work for Wal-Mart.
Money has always been something I needed to get what I want, not something I needed to get what I need, but becoming a full functioning adult has been hard. I had always been accustomed to a certain life style. And let me back up and say I did not grow up some rich, spoiled brat. I grew up the very opposite. I grew up in a single parent household, mom sending us to private school, paying mortgage on our home, dealing with the crappy financial situation my father left us in, all on a daycare worker salary. Money was always tight. Not to mention my mother never got child support (she's pretty amazing). She taught me that money comes from hard work, so I always worked hard and that was how I was able to pay for all the nice things I have. I work hard therefor I deserve.
This philosophy doesn't work in real grown up world. In real grow up world, I have to work hard and it all goes to my car or rent or groceries. There's no money for me to play like I want. I still get to go out for drinks and buy myself some candles as a treat, but I miss the days where I could blow $150 in one night at the strip club or spend a shit ton on 5 pairs of panties and a hoodie from Victoria's Secret. Now I have to think in the way of, "oh, I made $150 tonight at work. Now I can get the rent paid early." When did my fun die?
I honestly don't mind not thinking that way, and am planning a big strip club outing as we speak, but then I started thinking that I hate that how much money I have control my mood. If I have a slow week, I get so depressed. I get stressed out over everything I have to pay for and how one slow week can put me back for a month, but if I have a little bit of cash in my pockets, I'm on cloud 9. Money is evil. It has more control over us than our first love in high school did (shout out to Steve. The love of my 15 year old life).
Then, John played Wal-Mart: The high Price of Low Cost, on netflix, and then my eyes were opened up to how evil money actually is. I've always hated Wal-Mart. Mainly because it's dirty and cluttered, but a big part was how they mistreat their employees and drive small businesses to close. Watching this movie just increased my hatred for them tenfold. Wal-Mart is second worse just after Hitler. They fuck people over with no remorse what-so-ever and trap cities into letting them root there. Not only that, but it's a company full of sexist, racist and classist assholes. Please check this movie out, and if you shop at Wal-Mart ever afterwards, you don't have a soul.
I'm not that person. I'm not the type of person who lets money and things control my happiness. Yes, buying stuff does make me happy, I'm a female, but how I live my life and my daily choices to do good should be enough.
So what if I have a lot. So what if I have a little. As long as I'm working hard and feeling rewarded and happy with my life, I should have nothing to complain about. It could be worse. I could work for Wal-Mart.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Grill-a-holics Anonymous: Pork Short Ribs
After cutting John off, it's finally time to let him get back outside and grill. We found a great deal on ribs at the grocery store, and against our fears, decided to give it a shot.
There's an art to grilling ribs. Not everyone can do it and you freak yourself out by the need for them to turn out perfect, but these turned out pretty delicious.
2 tbs smoked paprika
2 tbs roasted ground cumin
3 tbs chili powder
1 tbs onion powder
1 tbs garlic powder
2 tbs black pepper
1 tbs crushed red pepper flakes
1 tbs coarse salt
1 tbs celery salt
1 tbs crushed oregano
1 tbs cayenne
Pork ribs
1 cup maple syrup
2 tbs fresh, minced garlic
Barbecue sauce
I started by marinating them in syrup and added fresh, minced garlic to them. I let them sit for about an hour.
Then, I removed them from the marinade and scraped the excess off with my fingers.
Mix all the spices together and rub on the ribs. Let sit again. I believe I did another hour.
Then grill, baste with barbecue sauce, grill some more and enjoy!
These came out yummy. I don't know if it'll be my go to rib recipe, but I'll definitely make again.
There's an art to grilling ribs. Not everyone can do it and you freak yourself out by the need for them to turn out perfect, but these turned out pretty delicious.
2 tbs smoked paprika
2 tbs roasted ground cumin
3 tbs chili powder
1 tbs onion powder
1 tbs garlic powder
2 tbs black pepper
1 tbs crushed red pepper flakes
1 tbs coarse salt
1 tbs celery salt
1 tbs crushed oregano
1 tbs cayenne
Pork ribs
1 cup maple syrup
2 tbs fresh, minced garlic
Barbecue sauce
I started by marinating them in syrup and added fresh, minced garlic to them. I let them sit for about an hour.
Then, I removed them from the marinade and scraped the excess off with my fingers.
Mix all the spices together and rub on the ribs. Let sit again. I believe I did another hour.
Then grill, baste with barbecue sauce, grill some more and enjoy!
These came out yummy. I don't know if it'll be my go to rib recipe, but I'll definitely make again.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Thank You Mom, Pot Roast
Today I wanna share one of my sure fire, idiot proof recipes. When I first moved out of my mom's house, I had no clue how to cook. My philosophy was sink or swim. Learn how to cook, or starve and be super skinny. A win/win situation. I decided to just learn how to cook, and a recipe I remembered from my mom popped into my head. I remembered it being so simple so I decided to give it a try. After years of tweaking, I finally have my pot roast perfected.
2.25 lb pot roast
12 oz of baby carrots
3 potatoes
2 tbs of minced garlic
1 McCormick bag 'n serve pot roast
2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1/4 onion
1/4 cup water
Preheat oven to 350.
Dice up your potatoes and let boil. You just want to soften them so let them cook about 7 minutes. Boil carrots in a separate pot. Let those cook until tender. About 15 minutes.
Take your bag, and layer with potatoes and then carrots in a deep glass dish.
Trim fat from pot roast, rub with minced garlic and then add it to the bag. If you want, You can cut little pockets and put slices of garlic in the meat. Remember, you can never have too much garlic.
Cut onion into slices and place on top of pot roast in bag.
Mix water and McCormick seasonings. Pour in bag. Next, pour Worcestershire in bag. Seal with tie, cut 2 vent holes in top of the bag.
Cook for an hour and 15 minutes. Cut and serve. Delish!
I love how tender the bag keeps the pot roast. Server with some dinner rolls. I promise, this will be one you add to your lineup.
2.25 lb pot roast
12 oz of baby carrots
3 potatoes
2 tbs of minced garlic
1 McCormick bag 'n serve pot roast
2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1/4 onion
1/4 cup water
Preheat oven to 350.
Dice up your potatoes and let boil. You just want to soften them so let them cook about 7 minutes. Boil carrots in a separate pot. Let those cook until tender. About 15 minutes.
Take your bag, and layer with potatoes and then carrots in a deep glass dish.Trim fat from pot roast, rub with minced garlic and then add it to the bag. If you want, You can cut little pockets and put slices of garlic in the meat. Remember, you can never have too much garlic.
Cut onion into slices and place on top of pot roast in bag.
Mix water and McCormick seasonings. Pour in bag. Next, pour Worcestershire in bag. Seal with tie, cut 2 vent holes in top of the bag.
I love how tender the bag keeps the pot roast. Server with some dinner rolls. I promise, this will be one you add to your lineup.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Top 5 Favorite Beers
There are only a few things in the world I'm passionate about: My nephews, natural hair, John, spicy food, the environment, my dog, garlic, sleep, Hairbo gummie bears, and beer. Craft and microbrews to be specific. I never drink liquor. I get way too sloppy and it doesn't taste that good. I much rather have a nice, cold brew. On occasion I do switch it up to a Captain and ginger ale. Or lately I've been on a cosmo kick, but I just drink it in a tall glass. Martini glasses are too soft.
Anyway, I love beer. More than anything. I plan on planning my pregnancy around the release dates of my favorite beet. One of John and I's dreams is to open up a brewery. I literally don't respect people that drink bad beer. It's not just a drink to me, it's a lifestyle. Someone asked me last night what my Top 5 favorite brews are and I wanted to share it with you guys.
1) Great Lakes Brewing Company Christmas Ale ABV: 7.5%
This was easy. A no brainer. When people tell me they don't like this beer, my response is, "Oh, so you just don't like good shit?" This is by far the best beer I've ever tasted in my life. It's made with honey, ginger, cinnamon and yuletide cheer. Mother fucking yuletide cheer! This beer is available November - December and if you're awesome enough to go to the Great Lakes Burning River Fest in July, you can also get fresh Christmas Ale there. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
There are other Christmas Ales out here in these streets, but no one, NO ONE, gets it right like Great Lakes.
2) Great Lakes Brewing Company Blackout Stout ABV: 9%
You'll see a trend with my beers in the fact that I love my local brewery, but Blackout Stout is another home run from Great Lakes. A malty, Russian Imperial Stout with hints of coffee and mocha. Now ladies, do not think, "Oh, I like coffee and mocha. I'll like this beer." This beer isn't for the weak of heart. It's a man's beer and an expensive 4 pack so I would hate for anyone to waste such deliciousness. They also have a barrel aged Blackout Stout that I've been dying to try, but it's a Brewpub exclusive so I have to make the 40 minute drive to Cleveland to get some. Lame.
Blackout Stout is named after that awesome blackout in 2003 in the Northeast half of the country. This beer is available November - January so if you want to try some, you better find some soon before it's all gone.
3) Southern Tier PumpKING Ale ABV: 9%
This is a new one added to my line up this past fall. Southern Tier, from Lakewood, New York, releases this AMAZING seasonal in August. You can only get it on draft or in a big daddy bottle, but both ways are heavenly delicious. This has to probably be the strongest, best tasting beer that isn't a porter or stout. It taste like a pumpkin roll. Yoummy, yummy! It shuts the beer game down.
4) Great Lakes Brewing Company Conway's Irish Ale ABV: 6.5%
Another beer from Great Lakes, duh! Conway's Irish Ale is one of their spring seasonals and just came out this week. It screams St. Patrick's day. It's a malty Irish Ale with a beautiful red color. The weakest of the bunch, but still packs a punch. So head out to the nearest bar and give this one a taste.
Anyway, I love beer. More than anything. I plan on planning my pregnancy around the release dates of my favorite beet. One of John and I's dreams is to open up a brewery. I literally don't respect people that drink bad beer. It's not just a drink to me, it's a lifestyle. Someone asked me last night what my Top 5 favorite brews are and I wanted to share it with you guys.
1) Great Lakes Brewing Company Christmas Ale ABV: 7.5%
This was easy. A no brainer. When people tell me they don't like this beer, my response is, "Oh, so you just don't like good shit?" This is by far the best beer I've ever tasted in my life. It's made with honey, ginger, cinnamon and yuletide cheer. Mother fucking yuletide cheer! This beer is available November - December and if you're awesome enough to go to the Great Lakes Burning River Fest in July, you can also get fresh Christmas Ale there. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
There are other Christmas Ales out here in these streets, but no one, NO ONE, gets it right like Great Lakes.
You'll see a trend with my beers in the fact that I love my local brewery, but Blackout Stout is another home run from Great Lakes. A malty, Russian Imperial Stout with hints of coffee and mocha. Now ladies, do not think, "Oh, I like coffee and mocha. I'll like this beer." This beer isn't for the weak of heart. It's a man's beer and an expensive 4 pack so I would hate for anyone to waste such deliciousness. They also have a barrel aged Blackout Stout that I've been dying to try, but it's a Brewpub exclusive so I have to make the 40 minute drive to Cleveland to get some. Lame.
Blackout Stout is named after that awesome blackout in 2003 in the Northeast half of the country. This beer is available November - January so if you want to try some, you better find some soon before it's all gone.
This is a new one added to my line up this past fall. Southern Tier, from Lakewood, New York, releases this AMAZING seasonal in August. You can only get it on draft or in a big daddy bottle, but both ways are heavenly delicious. This has to probably be the strongest, best tasting beer that isn't a porter or stout. It taste like a pumpkin roll. Yoummy, yummy! It shuts the beer game down.
4) Great Lakes Brewing Company Conway's Irish Ale ABV: 6.5%
Another beer from Great Lakes, duh! Conway's Irish Ale is one of their spring seasonals and just came out this week. It screams St. Patrick's day. It's a malty Irish Ale with a beautiful red color. The weakest of the bunch, but still packs a punch. So head out to the nearest bar and give this one a taste.
5) Southern Tier Creme Brulee Imperial Stout ABV: 10%
The first time I had this beer, I literally said, "Oh my god, basegod." (You either get it or not) I heard angels. In a dark periond where no beer had stolen my heart since Christmas Ale, this was a breath of fresh air. A rich, sweet, imperial stout with strong notes of vanilla. It taste like a creme brulee. Yes, it's sweet, yummy and delicious, but I know a lot of people who still don't like this one because it's too dark, but I like my beer like I like my men, dark and tasty.
This beer only comes on draft or in the big daddy bottle also and is released in June.
I hope that you all get out there and drink (responsibly). If you like beer, and you like good shit, give some of these a try. I'd love to know what you think.
Updates
I just want to keep everyone posted on what's going on. I haven't blogged in awhile. I'm not feeling inspired. I'm sort of in a creative rut and have been having a lot go on in my personal life as well, but things are getting better.
I have a hair and make up review coming. A long with some new recipes and a bunch of other good stuff. I'd also like to do another spotlight, so if anyone knows of someone or something that people need to know about, out here getting their creativity on, let me know.
I have a hair and make up review coming. A long with some new recipes and a bunch of other good stuff. I'd also like to do another spotlight, so if anyone knows of someone or something that people need to know about, out here getting their creativity on, let me know.
Monday, January 9, 2012
F*** That Snuggle Bear, I'll Make My Own Fabric Softener
I like to wait to do laundry until all I have clean to wear is thongs. I actually don't LIKE to do this, but laundry is such a pain in the ass that I put it off as long as I can. So while in the middle of doing a bagillion loads, I realize that I don't have any fabric softener. OH NO! I need fabric softener otherwise I'll have to iron everything! I hate ironing. Then, I came up with a solution. I grabbed a clean wash cloth, poured a few drops on essential oil, threw it in the dryer with the wet clothes. They came out fluffy and smelling delicious. I used lemon. Next time I'm gonna mix some. Cost: $0. I already had the oils and wash cloth. Essential oils vary in price so you have options. Give it a try and save yourself some dough while being environmentally friendly.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Spotlight: Ten Times Clothing Company
T-Shirts. Simple, basic, your choice to add a design to it or not. You would think it would be easy to make them. That's what I thought, and I know about 5 other people who started t-shirt companies that thought the same thing, but the difference between those people and John (not my John), is that John has talent.
Not to soon afterward I put up some money and started making buttons and stickers that simply stated, "FUCK YOU, I'M FROM AKRON." I gave them away or sold them at shows that Ryan's band, Sofa King Killer, was playing at. They caught on and people started asking me to make shirts with the saying. I didn't have the time or money to do much else with it, so I put it on the back burner. I didn't think about seriously doing anything with it until I gave Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders a sticker and she said she loved it. That was October or November and I still was on the fence about putting any money into clothing until New Year's Eve 2008 when a couple of friends cornered me in a garage at a party and started talking about making a company based on the FU design.
What are your aspirations for your business' future?
Anything else you want people to know?
And if it's not Santa Clause, Rick Ross or Steve Zissou, who is it?
He first told me about his company one day when a bunch of us were drinking after work. I was drunk and in a rush to finish a drink and go to the next destination (Maybe. . . I was drunk). Anyway, I saved the link in my phone and was gonna give it a looksy the next day while I recovered from my hangover in bed. After I checked it out, it immediately went on the list of awesome things I needed to tell John (My John). It was good. Really good, and I'm not easily impressed.
When I was doing the 25 Gift to Get Him Down Your Chimney Tonight blogs, I wanted to feature Ten Times then, but then I thought this deserves better. A spotlight. So after lots the holiday and getting over a cold, I finally have the time I wanted to dedicate to John and Ten Times. Not only did I want to share this awesome website with all of you, but I wanted you to know the story behind the t-shirt.
Okay, so when did you start Ten Times Clothing Co and what was your inspiration?
For me, I had always been interested in starting a clothing company. I used to design huge shorts and have my mom sew them when that whole trend was going on in skateboarding from 1990-94. I would wear them out and the other guys I skated with started asking me to buy them off me. I sold a few pairs of shorts and never made much out of it. All the way up through high school I would design clothing here and there as I needed with the help of my mom. Jeans, jackets, fleece vests, pretty much anything that I couldn't get in the massive sizes that early 90's skateboarding required. Thinking back now I have to laugh at what we came up with. It was fun though. In 1995 I went off to college and was worried more abut how I could afford the clothing that I was in to, mainly Polo and Nautica stuff that I saw the East Coast hip-hop kids wearing.
Ten Times as an idea started as a joke between my friend Ryan Burgy and myself in 2006 or 2007. I had come back from New York City and we were sitting at Thursday's talking about creating something like the iconic "I Heart NY" shirt I was wearing, but for Akron. We both were talking about how someone had to be tough to come from Ohio and how Ohioans don't get the respect they deserve. At the time I was in love with how well the original Rubber City Clothing Company nailed everything funny about Akron. I thought we could take things a little further. After a lot of beers and going back and forth Ryan stated, "we should just make something that says, FUCK YOU, I'M FROM AKRON!, or something." I laughed at it, thinking about how bold of a statement it was. The only thing at that time that Akron was even somewhat known for was LeBron James.
Not to soon afterward I put up some money and started making buttons and stickers that simply stated, "FUCK YOU, I'M FROM AKRON." I gave them away or sold them at shows that Ryan's band, Sofa King Killer, was playing at. They caught on and people started asking me to make shirts with the saying. I didn't have the time or money to do much else with it, so I put it on the back burner. I didn't think about seriously doing anything with it until I gave Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders a sticker and she said she loved it. That was October or November and I still was on the fence about putting any money into clothing until New Year's Eve 2008 when a couple of friends cornered me in a garage at a party and started talking about making a company based on the FU design.I didn't believe them at first, but it was something they wanted to put money up for and get started. Reluctantly, I said OK, not wanting complicate things by working with friends. We formed the company with Ryan and 2 other friends, Eric Wagner and Eric Starr. The name "Ten Times" comes from the amount of times Akron mayor Don Plusquellic put "AKRON" on a bridge overlooking OH I-77. Our first release was the FU shirt, The Beard, a shirt mocking the yellow DUI plates that Ohio passes out that simply stated "PRTYPL8", and one with Dee Schneider of Twisted Sister on it. Our two initial investors would leave soon after, not liking my overly controlling leadership style. The rest of us have been at it ever since.
How do you balance your creative energy, running a business, family and work? It's an impressive task.
It's a very hard thing to do, my wife deserves a medal! It kept me sane when I lost my job as a package designer. I had so much to do with the company that I wouldn't let my unemployment get me down. I saw it as fate telling me to get my ass in gear and do something important. At the same time my wife was 4-5 months pregnant and I had to move on it before my daughter came. Now it's a little bit harder to do. I spend a lot of time with my kid, watching her everyday, freelance and work part-time to help out with the bills. Nap time is best time there is. That is usually when I can break out the sketchbook and pencils and start creating new concepts. My partners also keep inventory, draw and do other things related to the company, so its a good business set up.
What programming and software do you use to create your designs?
It usually starts out with a sketchbook and a pencil. From there I'll scan it in to Photoshop or start laying down some type or redrawing in Adobe Illustrator. When the design is finished I'll put it on a shirt template and send it out to my guys to take a look at. We go through what colors to make it and make other design decisions from there.
When the design is finished I'll take it and make separations for the screens and then print it out on shirts on the printing press in my basement. It's great being so integrated, printing everything by hand. We can change our minds quickly if the design doesn't work and it helps keep operating costs way down.
Were you born and raised in Akron?
No. I was born in Fargo, North Dakota and then moved to Akron when I was 5. All the rubber companies were still here. I had a lot of friends whose families worked at those factories and businesses. I moved to Syracuse, NY when I was 13 and then back in 1995, after my dad got transferred. I went to The University of Akron, met my wife and have lived in Akron ever since.
What are your aspirations for your business' future?
TO MAKE IT BIG!?! Whatever that means. When we started I wrote out a five year plan and we have met most every goal I set out for us. Akron has been very good to us. Cleveland and other places in Ohio too, as we expanded into other markets. I would love to see us grow to get beyond being so "local-centric". I feel that the brand has the ability to do so, but we just need to figure out how to balance sticking to our roots and moving forward.
I would also like to see us in our own store at some point. I have always wanted to run my own place and offer something different than what I have seen at the mall, there's so many good small clothing companies out there that few people have ever heard of.
Anything else you want people to know?
Ten Times does custom work. Design and print. Stickers, buttons, hats, shirts, fliers, you name it. If anyone has questions they can contact us at 10xyourcity.com.
And if it's not Santa Clause, Rick Ross or Steve Zissou, who is it?
We get asked that a lot.~
After getting to know about the business, I got even more excited for John. He has a great idea and a great company and needs to be recognized as an amazing local artist. His shirts are perfect for any one with hometown love.
All shirts are 100% cotton. Ten Times also carries stickers, hats, buttons and woman's shirts as well so you can get something nice for yourself or you lady friend, boo mama. Also, all orders come with Ten Times stickers and buttons.
Right now Ten Times is also having a 60% off sale. Yeah, you can't beat the prices. It'll be going on until January 7th, so make your way over to http://10xyourcity.bigcartel.com and pick something up. You can also get Ten Time gear at Revival in Highland Square and Wholly Crafts in Columbus for my Southern Ohioians.
Check out the site and also spread the word, tell your friends and retweet. Thanks for reading. I even appreciate y'all taking the time to read it.
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